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Joke Corner
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CheshireSeasider Offline
Very Much So

Posts: 7,244
Joined: Aug 2013
Post: #1606
RE: Joke Corner
Fair play to Wayne Rooney for visiting Sir Alex Ferguson in hospital.

"His speech is improving and he can nearly string a sentence together" says Fergie
10-05-2018 18:00
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Bally Online
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Posts: 21,837
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1607
RE: Joke Corner
According to my new fitness smart watch, I've had a 4mile wank
11-05-2018 15:42
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Bally Online
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Posts: 21,837
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1608
RE: Joke Corner
Whoever lost an iPhone X yesterday in McDonalds, can you please stop calling my new phone, it's annoying me!
11-05-2018 16:23
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Thewiggy Offline
Registered User

Posts: 120
Joined: Aug 2016
Post: #1609
RE: Joke Corner
(11-05-2018 15:42)Bally Wrote:  According to my new fitness smart watch, I've had a 4mile wank

Clap
11-05-2018 20:28
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daib0 Offline
Interforum Gamemaster!

Posts: 5,545
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1610
RE: Joke Corner
Is QBlock about?


A city in Yorkshire has gone missing. Police are currently looking for Leeds...
23-05-2018 15:40
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Bally Online
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Posts: 21,837
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1611
RE: Joke Corner
(23-05-2018 15:40)daib0 Wrote:  Is QBlock about?


A city in Yorkshire has gone missing. Police are currently looking for Leeds...

It's a shithole mate. No body would be arsed looking for it
23-05-2018 15:53
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Bally Online
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Posts: 21,837
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1612
RE: Joke Corner
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a "Harmony for Couples" weekend, Dave and his partner, Ann, listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He then addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favourite flower?"

Dave leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered, "It's Homepride, isn't it?"

Thus began Dave's life of celibacy
24-05-2018 11:23
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GynnSquarePhoenix Offline
Moderator

Posts: 17,737
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1613
RE: Joke Corner
A man and his wife are getting ready for a party...
Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Man: "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes, I promise!"
Man: "I fucked your sister!"
29-05-2018 20:29
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daib0 Offline
Interforum Gamemaster!

Posts: 5,545
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1614
RE: Joke Corner
(29-05-2018 20:29)GynnSquarePhoenix Wrote:  A man and his wife are getting ready for a party...
Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Man: "Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes, I promise!"
Man: "I fucked your sister!"

Car terminology

The daughter says to her father, "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."

Her father said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe."
29-05-2018 21:03
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Qblock87 Offline
69

Posts: 23,432
Joined: Jun 2012
Post: #1615
RE: Joke Corner
Once when T77 was having a three some the other two suggested that he should poop on the girls chest. His brother and sister can be really disgusting sometimes. Burnley hey!!
03-06-2018 07:50
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daib0 Offline
Interforum Gamemaster!

Posts: 5,545
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1616
RE: Joke Corner
I saw this advert in a shop window that said " TV for sale, £1, volume stuck on full "
I thought ... "I can't turn that down"
06-06-2018 09:59
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Qblock87 Offline
69

Posts: 23,432
Joined: Jun 2012
Post: #1617
RE: Joke Corner
The Mrs said to me last night “ If you turn the bedside lamp off I’ll take it up the wrong ‘un “
In hindsight I should have waited for the bulb to cool down.
06-06-2018 21:18
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daib0 Offline
Interforum Gamemaster!

Posts: 5,545
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1618
RE: Joke Corner
My wife said she's leaving me because I always jump to conclusions.
Now it turns out she isn't...
07-06-2018 06:43
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Qblock87 Offline
69

Posts: 23,432
Joined: Jun 2012
Post: #1619
RE: Joke Corner
An ex girlfriend of mine took a restraining order out on me stating that I was mentally unstable.
I immediately wrote a sternly worded letter protesting my innocence.
Unfortunately I couldn't find a pen so I wrote it on her wall in my own shit.
09-06-2018 09:54
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Bally Online
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Posts: 21,837
Joined: Mar 2012
Post: #1620
RE: Joke Corner
My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been making fun of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight.I've got a good bottle of wine and bought the DVDs of the latest season of her favorite tv show. When she gets home from work, II'm going to cook her favorite meal for dinner, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
09-06-2018 13:39
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